A funny thing happened this morning... that would not have happened ordinarily. I had the meltdown of all meltdowns this morning. And it was over something that some would call insignificant. Basically, I broke a china tea cup filled with the last cup of coffee from the coffee pot. Yeah... under normal circumstances, it would be just another broken cup, but for me, it was another loss of my mom.
One particular Mother's Day, my Mom had given me a beautiful box of English Dessert Teas and this Beautiful China Tea Cup. ( We had long ago made a pact, that we would not go overboard on gifts... It was just one of those pacts you make because you figure you have time, to spend with each other and to love each other). Anyway... the gift, however humble, meant something to me, because my Mom knew that in the evenings, I would like to sit with a book by the fireplace and pretend to read. I would just silently sit and contemplate. (She would call it brooding, but I prefer to think of it as seriously thinking about whatever was on my mind.) Anyway... I have had the cup for some years (the tea is long gone) and this particular morning... I just picked up the cup to make my morning coffee. I put it on my desk, not thinking, and as I sat down by the computer, the sleeve of my robe, brushed the spoon, which in turn upset the cup and the cup went crashing down. I looked at the mess and burst into tears. In the scheme of things, it's just a broken cup, but I saw another thing that my mother gave me shattered. And I cried like a baby, which in turn woke my son up, and GOD love him, he picked up the mess and was collecting the pieces and was seriously going to try to put the cup back together.
There are two points I want to make here.
1. Appreciate your family with all of your heart and with all of your being. Time is too short. Make the memories which will sustain you through any loss. Cherish the time you have because time is just to short.
2. Never put too much stock in the tangible items. They can be lost, stolen or broken. But they can be replaced. It's the people in your lives who are the most important.
You know, I look around my kitchen and I realize, there is more of my Mom in my house than people would ever know. She helped me pick out the tile that is on the kitchen floor. She helped me sand down the the cabinets when I wanted to go back to the natural wood. She bought the stove when I absolutely refused to give up the old one and just work off of 2 burners... And I have our dream refrigerator.
So, As I look around in my kitdhen, my Mom is still here. I just broke a tea cup. But she is always in my heart and on my mind. And I guess, I just missed her mightily on the 17th of Sept. because she would always call me at 4:05 am and tell me she was glad that I was born and Happy Birthday. She would always be the first to wish me Happy Birthday and I guess the broken tea cup reminded me of what I had lossed. But in truth, I didn't really lose my Mom. She is still in my heart and I am hearing the words that she has spoken and I am still remembering things like the tea cup, and chocalate, and coffee and the Love of a woman who loved me like no other. I miss my Mom it's true. But all I have to do is look in the mirror, or speak and I will either see or hear her in myself.
Love your Mom. You only get one.
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